Relation -evaluation for Singles

I have been coaching singles lately. There are times that you can spend years as a single. Off course in your younger days it feels fine to be alone and work on your own ambitions, spent time with your friends and go on adventurous trips all over the world. But in time your ambition becomes reality. And then what? Deep down inside you could admit to yourself that you would like to share your life with someone after all these years.

Thoughts that could run through your mind are ‘I want a relationship, but somehow I am not open to it’ and ‘I have started the dating process through internet dating, but at the point of setting up a date, I find myself turning away from the computer and focus on something else’. A period of self -reflection motivated some coachees to take the step to lifecoacing. They admited to themselves that they would appreciate being guided towards a loving relationship.

Relation -evaluation
While being coached towards a loving relationship the relation -evaluation starts with exploring the limiting thoughts about love, about men and about woman.
- Men only want a relationship out of loneliness.
- Men have their routine and want us to just adjust to their schedule.
- Men are not thrustworthy. The same is said about woman.
- Woman have to many high expectations. Everything has to be perfect.
- Woman keep us busy dating, but after a few dates they don’t want to continue.
- Woman wait untill we make the first move.
- My life doesn’t allow me to come across the man/ woman of my life.

In the first phase of the coaching process we focus on where these limiting thougths come from. Is it because of bad relationships in the past, of feeling insecure because of a dominating older sister, of a non-emotional relationship with your father of always being taught to do the best you can? There are different causes. While going into more depth there is room to express grief, anger, disappointment and more negative emotions. These emotions could block you from having a loving relationship. Step by step you will let go of deep rooted emotions. You will experience space in your head and heart to create new thinking and -behavioural patterns to act out of love.

Coaching on Love Topics, take a look on: Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching.

A Spanish Handbook for Singles

Coachee Antje: I got remarkably more self trust and strength

Homework: visualize your Ideal Love Relationship

Already after a few sessions with Chungmei I felt easier in many areas of my life. I gained more confidence at work and became a proactive and valuable team member. Or at least, I started being realistically aware of my own values. Chungmei’s enthusiasm in supporting of a free and independent human being was clearly what I needed to find my own strengths in myself and bring them up even in my weaker moments.

One of the goals, which I defined for myself before starting the coaching sessions was to improve my ability to commit and build a beautiful relationship. I have been single for many years, as no one of the men I met seemed the right one to me. Like a miracle, a few days after starting working on it during one of our sessions, I met my boyfriend, and now I consider him the love of my life! Chungmei inspired me to visualize my ideal partner, which allowed me to enhance my idea of him.

The time we worked together with Chungmei was not always easy, as we went deep into the core of the pain. I got confronted with many feelings, which I was avoiding for years. It was painful, but necessary to let it go. The feeling of guilt was my company for years and it is much weaker now. I got remarkably more self trust and strength.

Antje coached by Chungmei Cheng of Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching

Living the Life of your Dreams

One of my coachees recently told me that she had a light -bulb moment in the car on her way to our coachingsession. The thought that she could live the life of her dreams and that she can do the things she likes in life popped up in her mind. Only telling me about this light -bulb moment brought tears to her eyes. Tears of happiness. She got to the point where she values herself in such a way that she can allow herself to live the life of her dreams. Beautiful!

www.jofabi.nl -animal photography

Here comes 10 Tips to build the life of your dreams

1. There could be a voice inside you telling you, you won’t succeed. Listen to this voice. This voice might want to protect you from failing, from falling, is disappointend, maybe angry, but the voice has a positive intention. Ask the voice what his positive intention is. Make this voice your best friend!

2. Ask yourself each day, what did I learn, how did I make a difference for someone else today?

3. Establish a set of disciplines that will give you the self-esteem and energy to act on your ideas. These disciplines can be in the area of self-care i.e. exercising, sleeping and eating habits, to communication and relationships, to how you spend your spare time, to what you think about.

4. Quite literally engage life… absorb everything, be curious, seize each day, notice and respond to everything that happens. This is where your ideas, future projects and your personal opinions and philosophy come from.

5. Be open to everything which crosses your path. Accept feedback. Learn from it.

6. Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on anything else; read, listen to tapes, journal, have meaningful conversations, never stop learning.

7. Bring something extra to everything you do, whether it is bringing a positive attitude to your job, giving a little extra on a project, or going out of your way for someone else.

8. Lastly live a synchronic lifestyle. Have a vision and vision and a higher goal which resonates through your vision and mission. A goal in which you contribute to people’s and world’s health. Determine what you want, ask for it, and trust that you will get what you need. Stand back and watch what happens … it’s always interesting!

We are all meant to shine, as children do

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously

give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love – marianne williamson

This post is just to remind you all to be fearless in live and do whatever you can do to make yourself and others happy.

Take care,

Chungmei Cheng
Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching

El verdadero amor de pareja…

Women: Just Beautiful

Dance to Inspire, Inspire to Dance

I believe everyone should dance. Also when you think or even know you can’t dance. Dancing is what people call moving. Moving your body which you have started doing from the moment you came to this world! Moving on the tunes of life. It relaxes, it winds you up, it energizes. Find you’re strengts by moving. Know what your arm can do and what potention can be found in your legs. We are living in a society where it is all about the mind. From a holistic point of view we are all mind, body and soul. Get these three working with each other in stead of neglecting parts of you.

Chungmei Cheng
Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching

Achieve your goals: Skype-coaching offer

“Helping you grow into the person You want to be”

This Skype-coaching offer is especially for Orchid of Life Newsletter members and only during this month of November 2009. Would you like to speak to a coach while you’re comfortably at home? Well, than start talking to me, Chungmei from Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching.

3 Skype sessions of one hour plus 1x e-mail coaching
We will decide together on the frequency of the sessions. We can skype with or without video. I can offer you this total package of Skype-coaching for 149 euro.

What is Skype? When you surf to www.skype.com you can make an account and then we can start phoning each other through the internet connection without any additional costs. If you have any questions about this offer you can skype me 15 minutes for free. My Skypename is: orchidoflife.

Are you interested in this Skype-coaching offer, but not a member of the Orchid of Life’s Newsletter? You can sign up for this Newsletter on the homepage of Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching.

My Brazilian TravelStories 2009

I would like to share with you a serie of 8 blogs about my experiences with capoeira in Brazil and off course everything related to the country and our trip. Just click through on the titels:

1. Love Hotel in Salvador
2. Stepping out of the Comfort zone
3. Discover your passion by coincidence
4. See paradise on Earth
5. Take Time for your Thoughts
6. Provocative capoeira
7. Food for Thought
8. Taking risks with positive results

SALVE! 

By Chungmei Cheng
Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching

Taking risks with positive results -Brazil Part 8

This is the 8th and last blog in a serie of blogs about our experiences in Brazil, where we spent 5 weeks this year. The reason for our trip was capoeira. My partner teaches capoeira in the Hague. His capoeira name is Vitamina. He represents Grupo Engenho, a Brazilian capoeira group, in the Netherlands.

Taking risks…
…is scary, but when you want something really bad than sometimes it’s good to just do it. Like I did when I took this photo. Allright it is a small risk compared to so many other risks you can take, I know, but let’s start small. The scenary above was overwhelming to me and I wanted to share it with people at home. It felt as if I wasn’t there, but in fact I was there and surrounded by busses packed with people wanting to get home, the smell of gasoline and people on the bridge walking away and to a mall. Luckily no one grabbed the camera and I have an image/experience to share.

By Chungmei Cheng
Orchid of Life -LifeCoaching